Why I take the red-eye - business travel and minimizing time away from the kids

My husband and I travel fairly frequently for business. For me, the vast majority of those trips are to New York City. I love the evening hours when I can be with my kids and learn about their days. I especially love tucking them in to bed with sung Sh’ma and longer hugs and kisses.  In almost 8 years, we’ve only had one night where one of us wasn’t home – unless it was on purpose for a couple’s vacation..  Because I love this, my choice for cross-continental travel is the red eye.

The kids don’t like that we travel at all without them. Our middle son, Taylor,

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It takes a village – or at least a co-parent – to raise children and keep your sanity

I highly recommend co-parenting. Eight years ago this June (June 21, 2001 I think), I met my co-parent. It was during a “how to have a baby” pregnancy class. Instead of the weekend crash course favored by many of my business school colleagues, Neal and I opted for a 7-week, every Thursday night course “Milk and Honey” which focused on Jewish rituals and practices surrounding birth (apparently we were the only couples to get this great course). There were two other Jewish couples in this class that we took in each other’s homes. Jessica and I, two very head-strong, opinionated women, somehow made each other laugh from the first class.

My mother referred to her Aunt Sadie as her second mother and talked about how much time she spent at Aunt Sadie’s house. I don’t know if my kids will refer to Jessica as a second mother, but they probably will not appreciate our invaluable relationship until they are parents themselves

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Self-control predicts academic and professional success better than intelligence

This is not my opinion – it’s the result of 40 years of psychological research that is detailed, in depth by May’s New Yorker magazine. Although I pretty much knew that instinctively since I know lots of smart people who just cannot seem to connect all the dots.

Angela Lee Duckworth, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania...found that the ability to delay gratification was a far better predictor of academic performance than I.Q.

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Self-esteem is not a gift - it cannot be given

Parenting in 2009 is really hard – even my mother says so. Every decision is scrutinized and “what’s best” for the child seems to always be the goal. What ever happened to Winnicott’s notion of a “good-enough mother”? I ask this because there is so much angst in parenting today. What are we worrying about? Why are we trying to make all of the “best” decisions?

It’s all about “self-esteem.” Seems like a good goal, but people are going about it in really strange ways.

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Competition and Kids – why I think competition is good

Lately, I’m hearing a lot about how schools and camps are striving to ensure every child is treated fairly and gets equal time on equal activities. Call it the great equalization of childhood – where everyone should strive for everything to be fair and equal. Sounds sort of tranquil and definitely non-confrontational. Also sounds completely divorced from any connection to reality.
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Getting the whole story –parents, coaches and teachers need to get on the same page

In my recent, unscientific survey of parents of boys, I’ve discovered a 3 to 1 probability that sons won’t tell you extensive details about their day. Especially if something didn’t go their way that day. And with boy energy introduced to a world that expects 5 year old children to control impulses that physiologically require the brain development of an 8 year old, often things don’t go their way.

It’s hard to be a boy today. And it’s hard to be a boy’s parents.

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Crimes & misdemeanors – the incident call

As a parent of two energetic boys, I’ve learned to anticipate the inevitable call about an incident at school or camp. I understand that it is impossible to see everything leading up to an altercation. But to teach my sons something useful, I need to be very concrete and specific – so I need facts.

It’s simply not okay for a camp or school to call and tell me Taylor (or Benjamin) misbehaved without context.

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Baby Monitor Smack Down = Webcam vs. Good old sound monitor

A good friend asked if I had any thoughts about if he should invest in a webcam baby monitor for his second child. He has a standard baby monitor from baby #1. With my first child, I bought multiple baby monitors because I couldn’t find one that worked reliably in our cordless phone, near our neighbors and wireless networked house. And our baby’s nursery is as far away as possible from the master suite – not intentional, but ultimately very nice. For the record, the (then) $19.99 Fisher Price Sound and Lights monitor was the absolute best.
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Breast or Bottle - both work just fine

Its a shame that anyone - medical professional or layman - would make a mother feel guilty for taking care of her child.

I breastfed 3 children for 12 months each because I both wanted to (important) and my body cooperated (important). Because my children were in day care starting at 9 weeks or so, they were also bottlefed (happened to be breastmilk, but bottle sanitation is as important).

When expecting mother's ask me about how to do it, here's what I tell them:
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