Bunking for desks

August 31, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

Last November, we bought new dining room chairs and unintentionally ordered two desks for the boys. Since we never confirmed the order, the House of Values has graciously been storing them until we are ready for desks. Our boys share a bedroom and desks require that we re-bunk their beds. For a host of reasons (accidents, night terrors, laziness), we hadn't rebunked.

They're both going to have homework this year. It's not clear that either of them have the discipline yet to sit at their own desk and focus on their homework without parental/au pair supervision.

Raising a mensch

August 29, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

My husband and I agree that what we want for our children is to learn how to be happy no matter what their circumstances and to be good people - people who do the right thing and reach out to others. It's our opinion that those two abilities are more important than educational or monetary success - although we hope they'll do well in school and expect them to be self-supporting adults when they graduate college. :-)Two boys start school with their sister to send them off

Benjamin gave us two opportunities to reinforce these two values.

A perfect moment – my summer send-off

August 25, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

Many parents who worked really hard all summer having their kids at home are deservedly thrilled that school is starting and the routine resumes, but as for me - I am sad to see summer come to a close. They’re going to have an amazing school year and I am excited for them to start, but summer is a carefree, fun time.

She really does it for her daughter

August 24, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

We all make sacrifices for our children. Gone are the impulsive vacations for two and, in their place, road trips where we hope the kids don’t actually have a fist-fight. Gone are lazy Saturday mornings reading a book, and, in their place, some set of orchestrated activities until it’s a sane time to start the day. But these are little, temporary sacrifices. Anyone on the Peninsula need a cleaning lady?

On Friday, I asked my cleaning lady if her daughter was excited to start fifth grade.

Bullying in perspective

August 20, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

When my eldest started kindergarten, he was bullied by a trio of 3^rd graders playing a game where they encouraged him to chase them, cried when he tagged them and got him punished by the teacher’s aide. Only after observing the behavior directly did my husband catch on and confront the girls while I let the school know what the game was. We also talked with Benjamin about saying no when the girls ask him to play tag. The next day, the game was over and my son went from miserable to elated.

Helicopter parenting or effective intervention?

Please don't stop the music

August 19, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

My music collection, never the edgiest, stopped growing a couple years after I graduated college. There was a sudden influx of new music when my son was born – nursery rhymes, Disney lullabies and other “appropriate music”. As I planned a party for my husband’s birthday, it was very clear that I neither knew any of the fun, cool music nor owned anything later than the early 90s.

It’s not my plan to be one of those parents who complains about my kids’ music. I never really cared if other people liked my music and I don’t need to fake affection for songs in order to fit in with my kids. But I like to dance and sing and I needed to update my music library.

Setting the ground rules – babysitters, nannies and au pairs

August 18, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

With two full time working parents and three kids, we need help to manage our life and a few years ago we enrolled in an au pair program and have brought three different young women into our home to help care for our children.Livia with the kids 2007

Since we lived in Brazil, speak Portuguese and we know how wonderful Brazilians are with children, it was a no brainer to hire Brazilian au pairs and they have each been wonderful. That said, the US is different from Brazil and our house rules are likely different from those in other homes here and abroad – aren’t everyones?

I'm the pumpkin

August 17, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

This week our sons are in the mountains with their grandparents and our au pair. Our daughter is home with us – her first time having mom and dad all to herself. And our first time just having a daughter in the house.

Every time I interact with her – I’m amazed at the hard-wired, inherent differences between girls and boys. For example:

Us Time - Why time away from our kids makes us better parents

August 13, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

There's a story that a son asked his father how to be a good father to his children. The grandfather responded - love their mother. It's easy to get caught up in the chaos of life with children plus work plus the household and run out of time for each other. It happens to us all the time - we're exhausted by Friday evening and know that we have a full weekend of family time that will be great - but tiring.

My husband and I try to get at least one weekend a year alone.

Making the return to work as easy as possible

August 12, 2009 by Joelle Kaufman

This morning I spoke with a new mom who’s been back at work for 1 month. She’s sad leaving her son with a stranger every day. After three children, I remember feeling how she feels.

It’s harder to think about leaving to go to work than it is to go. Staying busy at work is key – and ensuring that you commit to making work exciting and interesting is important too. Thinking about the options for childcare in terms of what makes you the most comfortable with your choice (or necessity as is quite common) is also important.